MARRIAGE AND CHILDHOOD ATTACHMENTS:
I have read studies that suggest that young children in daycare where there is a lot of staff turnover have trouble forming long-term attachments. Do you think this could be behind the apparent disposable nature of today's marriages?
BRADLEY HIRSCHFIELD :
it's an intersting theory, especially because your were careful NOT to take a swipe at daycare, but at those settings in which constant turnover makes it harder for kids to develop attachments to their caregivers. generally speaking, the early attachments we make are critical factors in our future lives, including how we make relationships.
interestingly, if people thought of marriage as truly disposable, they would still be marrying in large numbers and then divorcing in even largernumbers. that's not what's we are seeing!
i think this is about people who want marriages that are durable and not sure how to build the durable relationships they seek. as a result, they create structures from which they can depart, when unhappy, with what they expect is greater ease and less sense of loss.
found at: http://live.washingtonpost.com/rabbi-brad-121411.html